Shortly after executing the trade that sent superstar forward Jimmy Vesey to Ottawa, rumours started swirling about a Vesey2 lineup featuring both Jimmy and brother Nolan. Only 1 problem, apparently neither brother is very good. When asked about the possibility of the brother duo teaming up, GM Steph Villeneuve seems a little confused: 

Reporter: Hey Brent Wallace here, TSN. Just looking for a comment on Jimmy Vesey.

SV: Jimmy’s gonna have a chance to compete for an everyday spot. He can certainly score, but we’re a deep team and he could end up in Belleville.

BW: So there’s a chance he could skate with Nolan?

SV: Nolan? 

BW: Yeah.... Nolan Vesey... his brother!

SV: I have no idea who the fuck that is. Does he play for us?

BW: Yeah. He’s on the roster.

SV: I’ve never heard that name in my life. He must suck.

Reporter 2: Hi Steph, Bruce Garrioch here (pauses to eat 2 burgers and a large frostie in 2.4 seconds), any update on trade front? My fake trade scenarios aren’t getting many tweets anymore. 

SV: Well we just landed Jason Zucker so we’re very..... I’m sorry, Bruce, are you eating a whole turkey? (Camera pans to Bruce eating a whole turkey) What the fuck dude.... yeah, so, Zucker, very pleased. Still shopping for a goalie, we’re comfortable starting the season with Kuemper and Moose, but we’re open to adding. 

BW: So can we expect a final roster here in the next few days?

SV: (Over the loud noise of Bruce Garrioch gnawing on turkey bones) Not yet. We’re still in tinker mode. Fielding calls on a multitude of guys. And so if you’ll excuse me boys, I gotta go google Nolan what’s his face and see if he’s worth keeping around. 

*Editors Notes: He isn’t.