LINKE BERATES WRITER AFTER LOSS IN BOSTON

Calls Boston beat writer schmuck

After Sunday nights game in Boston Washington Capitals GM Lawrence Linke was upbeat after his expansion teams performance against the Boston Bruins, considered the best team in the BRHL. He mentioned how his young Caps were not intimidated by the Bruins, posting 37 shots on goal, outhitting Boston 30 to 22. Linke glossed over the fact that Boston had twice as many power plays as the Caps (6 to 3). Linke continued to preach believe in the process and things are going according to plan. When asked about being the greatest expansion team in the history of the BRHL Linke chuckled and responded by saying "you said it, I didn't".

 

This is when things got interesting and took a turn for the worse. A Boston beat writer asked Linke on how things are going according to plan when he Caps have 8 picks in the upcoming draft and the Seattle Stoners have 31. In a response that reminded some viewers of the Michael Douglas speech in the movie "The American President" Linke stated "schmuck, what is your name". The writer meekly replied Gregory Almeida of the Boston Globe. Linke then stated "I don't get what is the love affair with Ryan Shuck. What has he done ? Has his name ever been mentioned in the same sentence as Scottie Bowman or Steve Yzerman. Where was he a GM last year, Florida. Have you seen the mess he left for poor Tyler Bell to clean up". Linke then stated that his AHL team can beat Seattle whose top 6 forwards are Stephen Gionta, Pavel Jenys, Kale Kessy, Kevin Morris, Chase DeLeo and Cory Ward. The top 4 d men are Victor Antipin, Josh Wesley, Tim Erixon and Nick Seeler. "I keep hearing David Rittich this and David Rittich that. With goalies that have appeared in 10 NHL games this season Rittich is 18th in spct and 14 in GAA. Jack Campbell is top 4 in both categories. I feel sorry for the fans in Seattle".

Linke took a drink of water and a deep breath but he wasn't done yet. Linke then asked Almeia if he knew what percentage of NHL draftees play 200 games in their career. Almeida answered no.  Linke stated that Seattle has three 1st round picks but two will be in the later half of the round and Seattle will be lucky if one of the two hit the 200 game threshold. He then stated that out of the 5 premium picks (2nd and 3rd rounders) Seattle will be lucky if two hit the threshold. Of the 23 late picks they will be lucky if three hit the threshold. Linke then stated the vast majority of the players that meet the threshold are not all stars but servicable 3rd and 4th liners and 3rd pair d men. 

Linke then stated "give me Scott Laughton, Nic Cousins and the 13 other players who are 24 and under and playing full time in the NHL over all those fancy picks anytime". Linke continued his tirade by stating "two weeks ago I traded a 5th, 6th, 6th and 7th and acquired Jack Campbell, 23 year old Mirco Mueller, 22 year old Anthony DeAngelo and Chris Wagner. Please tell me how bad I did !!"

While walking off the stage some writers heard Linke mumble, "fucking Greg Almeida, he's as bad as Devon Cordell and Tyler Pumpel."

 

 

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