“Let's do it then. Festivus is back. I'll get the pole out of the crawl space.”

You’ve all been asking for it, here it is, our annual Festivus article. If you don’t know what Festivus is, you’re fired.

“Welcome, newcomers. The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people and now you're gonna hear about it.”

-        Are we sure Sumit isn’t a teenaged girl? Who else changes their profile name every day and takes selfies this much, and they haven’t even been like Junya’s with his 70yr old wife.

-        Truly inspiring and brave for Larry to be our GEGMLBTQ+ representative

-        Can we get Garrett a job yet so we can stop hearing about him sucking Kevin Weekes off?

-        Doc has the same 5 players for trade for 3x the value. Until he trades them to Garrett for 40% the value

-        Is Greg alive? Does he only come on to talk cards?

-        It’s been like a month since the last drunk racist Rex rant. Is he still alive?

-        Amazing to see Ken come to the dark side regarding the idiocy of covid restrictions. A true Festivus miracle!

-        What is it with people and their cats in this league. Jared and Eric must meet at furry conventions.

-        Kinda weird having a competent Tyler running the Kings.

-        Come to think of it, Rich hasn’t complained about how the league is screwing him over, this might be the longest we haven’t heard that. Time for a messed-up sim.

-        Devon must be awfully broke for the amount of articles he’s putting up.

-        Wonder who’s chimney Leon will slide down and be at for Christmas morning. His random pop ups at other BRHLers are the best part about him (clearly not team success)

-        Nice to see Big Al took a break from yelling at the clouds to actually build a decent hockey team, if only the same could be said for baseball.

-        Looks like Sheds really is waiting for his kid Pavel to make the NHL before building a decent team again.

-        Dave has been quiet, I hope he’s OK. Not leaving the house because uncle JT said not to has to be wearing on him.

-        Anyone else excited for Blue Balls to make his one trade a year? Then only pop up to talk about his computer gaming?

-        Flyers loaded up finally, might actually finish .500 this year. Which is probably the best showing ever for any of Anthony’s teams.

-        Imagine if PJ actually showed up and engaged, Rangers might be relevant.

-        Can’t wait for Jesse to overpay for a rental goalie, only to be bounced in r1 like usual.

-        I don’t think someone could have wrecked the Senators dynasty more if they tried than Steph has, amazing to see how putrid that team is. But hey, they have backup Darcy Kuemper available.

-        Eric F doing a fantastic tank job, take notes people, no-one knows how to suck like the French.

-        Did I miss anyone else? Dan and Toby don’t even count since they’re just Steph’s lackeys.

-        If I didn’t even mention you, you should probably do more, other than the actual Mr. Irrelevant, you all need to step it up and make an impact.

“Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.”

-        Glad to see Joel is doing his own research on building a respectable Coyotes team.

-        Ironically, the best thing that new Sharks GM, Sumit brings to the league is his selfies. And the worst thing he brings to the league is also his selfies.

-        This time of year it's important to be aware of scams, especially online, sadly we spent 6m for zero podcasts, shame on us.

-        Has this been the longest Devon or Toby have made it into the season without switching their direction on contending / rebuilding?

-        The league getting rid of Rumpy, but yet we haven't been able to taste or smell anything since he left.

-        Something about Larry talking in his sleep and his wife asking him who Zegras (and others) are.

“All right, George. It's time for the Festivus feats of strength.”

I end this years Festivus on a more sombre and real tone than usual. You guys have shown an immense Festivus feat of strength with all you’ve done for my family. Cameron lights up every time talking about his new switch and how “dad’s online hockey buddies, are the best!”. I know I sent the video of him saying thank you, and he had a chance to talk to Steph on the TSHL zoom the other night, but from the bottom of my heart, and my families, thank you all.