Let's see which wet towels I'll offend today. Fucken libs. 

Carolina: Blaming the sim for sucking while having Malkin and 3 3rd lines. Goalies suck. No 1sts. No prospects. Congrats, you played yourself. 

Columbus: Missing a top level winger and dman to pass Blue Balls, but no prospects or picks. Writing IOUs your ass can’t cash. Jesiah has disappeared. Congrats, you played yourself. 

New Jersey: Already exceeded his projected season points. Worst tank job ever. Brassard and Thornton are making a cup run. Holding Jimmy Stu hostage. Congrats, you played yourself. 

New York Islanders: Loves to get disappointed in the playoffs. Needs better depth but too big a pussy to make trades. Enjoy not winning the cup. Congrats, you played yourself. 

New York Rangers: Who? Legit PJ only surfaces to bitch about Fletcher. Firmly in tank mode. 10 year rebuild incoming. No top end prospects Congrats, you played yourself. 

Philadelphia: Goes all in, likely a WC team. Next year this team is a tire fire…. Without its 1st. Needs to be a buyer, but nothing to trade. Congrats, you played yourself. 

Pittsburgh: The kiss of death when it comes to prospects playing well in the NHL. Could give a TED talk at losing trades. Congrats, you played yourself. 

Washington: Fucked up not trading Zegras, now wants insane price to beat the offer he should have accepted. Improved his team and traded his 1sts…. Only to be worse this year. Congrats, you played yourself.